Wedding blues

The local radio station was talking about the costs of getting married this morning. Of the five people, only one of them believed that spending over $5,000 on a wedding was a bad idea.
The main host was saying that he will spare no expense on his girl's "special day." Why is it her special day? I don't think I've ever met a man who thinks of it as "his" special day, or even "their" special day.
The day you begin your life together shouldn't be sealed by a day where you spend a third of your yearly income for one event. I think it's absurd.

Average Wedding Costs:
Bride's 2000 State of the Union Report

Stationery (invitations, announcement, thank-you notes, etc.): $374
Bouquets and other flowers: $775
Photography, videography: $1,253
Wedding favors: $240
Music: $745
Clergy, church, chapel, synagogue fee: $248
Limo rental: $427
Attendants' gifts: $299
Wedding rings: $1,060
Engagement ring: $2,982
Rehearsal dinner: $762
Bride's wedding dress: $790
Bride's headpiece/veil: $150
Bridal attendants' apparel (average of five): $720
Groom's formalwear (rented): $100
Formalwear for ushers (average of 5), best man (rented): $400
Reception (average of 186 guests): $7,246

TOTAL: $17,318


I think that a $2-3,000 party would be suitable, followed by a $3-5,000 vacation. The rest is frivolous and a waste of money.

I could do so much with the $9,000 I saved (and note that the $17,318 is from the year 2000!).

$9,000 is a really nice, slightly used vehicle.
$9,000 is a good chunk of a down-payment on a house.
$9,000 is a good amount of money to invest in some wonderful stock.
$9,000 would help a women's shelter stay open for 3 months.
$9,000 would be a half a year of college for my son.
$9,000 will help feed a lot of homeless.
$9,000 would cover 2 months of a nursing home if my parents were to need it.
$9,000 would be a good addition to my now non-existent savings account.

I don't need a "special day." I'd rather have a wonderful and amazing trip to celebrate the beginning of my life together with my husband (if I ever decide to get married). I don't think I would be compatible with a man who wanted me to have a "special day."

Call me selfish, but I expect more than just one day to be special.

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