This is how his visits usually start if he (the father) has anything to do with it:
We have plans to meet at a certain time. He gets distracted and stops to go skateboarding and ends up 2.5 hrs late.
Does he call? No....of course not. He doesn't carry a cell phone with him. He has one-just didn't think to bring it.
Does he apologize? No....of course not. It's not a big deal to him, he's not sorry.
I remember one year the father was supposed to pick up my beloved six-year old on a certain day. The boy was very excited to go visit his papa and talked about it all week to anyone who would listen. The big day came and our neighbors had invited us to go fishing that morning. Great-a distraction, let's go! So we got up early with them and headed out to catch some lunch. We were having a great time fishing, but headed back early so that we would have time to pack the car, drive back to the house, unload, get cleaned up, eat lunch and be ready to go when pops got there.
And it worked just as we had planned....except we were left waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting. He showed up late at night. No real explanation, no sincere apology, nothing. No cares about the fact that I had been put in the position of having to distract a very sad child for the last 4 hrs, who wanted to do nothing but ask "when's he going to be here?"
And so it goes.
You can not change people. This has been my greatest lesson from being a divorced parent. It has been my greatest struggle, as I would give anything to make my child happy..I don't understand his dad and I can't try to any longer. He will never be anything more than he is and I have stopped hoping for any change.
A big well-deserved thumbs down for the dad.