Get OFF THE ROAD!!!!

Guess who got his drivers permit?
This one:


But don't worry....cause (in his words):
"I've been watching you drive for years!"


And so, he should be an expert driver!

He DID pass in a surprisingly VERY short amount of time, missing only four, which is even more surprising since he didn't really study the dmv booklet ("I read it in class today!"). BUT-he did great.

And his driving knowledge shined through tonight when I asked him "which way do you turn the wheel if you start skidding?"


His answer: Turn to the right.


It's been quite some time since I've had to take the drivers test, however, I HAVE been driving for about 16 years now and I can't remember ever hearing that I should always turn to the right when skidding. I'm STILL laughing about it. My son will be the one on the icy road spinning in circles, because he won't stop turning right.

He's funny.

I Do Not Heart Dentists!

It takes my dental plan 78 days to get my son and I in to get our teeth cleaned. SEVENTY-EIGHT days.
It takes a kiwi egg 78 days to hatch.


One time I had a dental emergency and they told me I could get in 6 days later. SIX days for an EMERGENCY. I refused their six-day offer and instead said, "I will be there in the morning." They kindly said they might be able to fit me in-between patients but there was no guarantee and I might sit there all day and never get seen. The next morning, I was in front of a dentist within 90 minutes. It helps to make a lot of eye contact with the receptionist and look pained. Phone people don't care about your pain.

This was almost three years ago now...when I went to the dentist that day, they told me I have an overbite and a type of TMJ and would need to be operated on. They referred me to an maxofacial surgeon, but I couldn't be referred from my dental office to a medical office or my medical insurance wouldn't pay for it and my dental insurance wouldn't pay for surgery since it's outside their office.

So---then I had to go to my doctor---oh, there's a three-week wait to see him? Hmmm...perfect. Meanwhile, I have trouble moving my mouth at all. (no, it didn't mean I talked less, it means I learned how to talk while either applying pressure to my left jaw or by keeping my teeth together most of the time). Luckily, I work in the medical field and have an inside connection to my doctor----so I emailed him and got in two days later. I'm sneaky, but effective at getting things done.

So--my doctor looks at my jaw for 2 minutes and gives the referral that we all knew I needed. I call the maxofacial surgeon--it's a two-week wait to see him. No back doors to this alleyway, so I had to wait two weeks. And then when I did get in to see him, he told me I definitely need surgery, however, I need to fix my overbite first and referred me BACK to my dentist to see an orthodontist.

And we know what happens when you try to get in to see my dentist.....it's at best a 6 wk wait.

And---you can't be referred from a medical group to a dental group, so I would have to make an appointment to get the referral.



No thank you-I will call the dentist myself directly and continue to call until I get the referral. I had the referral two days later, but then-of course-it's a 3 week wait to see the orthodontist.

The ortho dentist looked at my mouth, looked at my chart and said, You need to see a maxofacial surgeon....and closed the chart and took off his gloves.

huh? wait...slow down there turbo---HE sent me to you.

huh? oh...he did? oh...just a minute.

Apparently my 15 yr old ortho dentist had to go verify something with someone because he then came back and told me we should start the process of getting me fitted for braces and very nonchalantly said I would need to put down a $100 deposit and make an appt to have a mold taken of my mouth.

huh? $100 and I have to make ANOTHER appt?
I told him I couldn't drop down $100 at this time and I would be back.
And I never looked back.

And apparently no one looked for me...
or even looked at my chart because I've been to the dentist two more times since then to have my teeth checked and no one has either mentioned my history with them, my overbite, OR the extremely loud cracking noise I make when I open my mouth wide (EVERY time I open my mouth wide).

Doesn't this sound like the greatest dental plan ever?
Absolutely.
And for this I pay $31 twice a month, with no option to opt out. Ridiculous.

Does this look like a smile that needs thousands of dollars of work done??? (the correct answer is NO)

Wisdom From A Young Girl

I'm not going to name any names, but some young girl in my family just said this to me when talking about how she isn't too worried about getting in trouble:

"i think its stupid to get mad at your kids so even if shes mad, she will get over it eventually"


I'm so perplexed as to whether this is really really deep...or really really ...um, slightly off-kilter. The wisdom of youth?

Why worry about someone getting mad if you KNOW for certain they will be over it in two hours? Makes sense in a way, I guess. And it's stupid to get mad at your kids. Cute.

Busy Busy Busy

This is the reason I'm sooooooo busy these days:




You can't just get a million on Bejeweled without plenty of practice!

I absolutely blame my parents for this new addiction of mine. Not only do they encourage us to play this game when we are at their house, but they even went so far as to give me a copy of the game to install at home.

AND I have bad wrists!!! I shouldn't be spending MORE time clicking away all night when I have to do it for about 7 hours in a row at work!

Life Lessons

There is really nothing funny about tigers killing people...however....there IS something somewhat funny about the advice the head zookeeper offered to people after the San Francisco tiger killed a man and mauled two others.


One of the men (boys really) admitted that they had been taunting the tiger. They had also been smoking pot and drinking.

Logic prevails and the zookeeper wanted to let everyone know:
"Clearly there's the lesson to be learned here," said zoo spokesman Sam Singer. "The lesson is that it's not a good idea to drink, it's not a good idea to be high on dope, and it's not a good idea to taunt a man-eating tiger."


Why would you taunt something that can very quickly look like this:

Walk Away

Why do we have media helicopters following a woman to a custody hearing? I am somewhat fascinated by the celebrity life at times, but I really don't care if Britney is dating someone new, if she wore the same outfit twice, if she went to two gas stations in one day...and it's really sad that we are ruining this womans life with our fascination of her.

She doesn't even have a career anymore. Let's leave it alone already.
She should walk away. Walk away from hollywood, walk away from everything here and disappear in Canada. Walk away Britney. Go have a life.

I do, however, care somewhat about Tom Cruise and the Scientology movement. THey really believe the human race is connected to alien life form that came to earth billions and billions of years ago? THAT is fascinating. A former beautiful singer buying cigarettes twice a day...NOT fascinating.

Another religion speaks nonsense to me:
75 million years ago, the galactic ruler, Xenu, rounded up the populations of 76 planets and had them brought to earth. Here their bodies were dumped near volcanoes which were blown up with hydrogen bombs. The individual spirits (or 'thetans') were collected and 'implanted' with 36 days of movies depicting the symbols of Christianity and all the social, religious and technological phenomena which have since ensued. These spirits were then gathered into 'clusters,' and everyone currently alive is supposedly a mass of such clustered spirits.


When I first read this, I thought it was a joke, something maing fun of christianity and the "how is this real" stories of the bible...but no, it's REAL and a LOT of people believe in Xenu.

Crazy.

The Greatest Aunt Ever!!

The story behind this picture....
...has been a secret.
Aren't they sweet looking? Adorable, happy children?
This was on a day when Andrew and I met Jason, Tyler and Alyssa at a local school for Tylers baseball game. I took the two little ones to the playground and I'm pretty sure Jason the worrier reminded me to be careful with Alyssa...cause he usually did.

So, being the good Aunt that I am, I told little Andrew to hold Alyssa's hand going down the slide so she would be "safe."

I didn't take into account gravity though....and as some people might know, heavier children go down the slide faster than the smaller children. And if the children are holding hands as they go down the slide, the smaller one will be pulled along at a rate not consistent with gravity. I think that Andrew might have pushed off at the top when Alyssa was still holding on or something...it was a FAST slide.

In other words, approximately 7 seconds after this cute photo was taken, little Alyssa ended the slide nearly on her head.
Not so cute.

And the first thing Andrew did was look to see if Uncle Jason saw. Smart boy.

We checked for any obvious injury and then distracted her so she would stop crying.
And no one was ever the wiser.

Sad Night

Uncle Dick is very ill. He most likely will not make it through the night...

I don't think I've seen him since I was in high school..I don't know his new wife and I have no idea what his adult children look like, but I grew up with this fun-loving, crazy Uncle Dick, who would arrive to the familys house on his motorcycle, with his leather jacket and a cigarette. He was the "cool" one.

Even though it's been forever and a day since I have seen him, I will always have the pleasure of having had him in my life. Growing up would not have been the same without each and every one of my aunts and uncles and to know that one of them is, soon to be, no longer with us is heartbreaking.

And everyone at this time tonight is in the midwest gathered together to say goodbye to one of our own. I wish I was there.

I am without words.

Photos for the Masses

In case you weren't able to make it....here are some random photos from our 2007 Presents Day Spectacular.

What you can't see is the amount of sleep I had, the number of times I coughed, how badly my head hurt most of the weekend.

You also can't tell what brats teenage boys are (is it asking too much to wear a nice shirt for the special celebration of Presents Day??), how extremely large Kitty #3 is, how yummy my mom's potato soup is, how loud the house gets with just 2 particular people (I'm KIDDING....) (not really), how meticulously Jason opens and examines each and every gift he has, and how much knowledge the eldest in the family has about true-life crime (on tv).

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