Games People Play

I have a young friend who is very much like me. I'll change her name so as not to call her out...
"Allison" we will call her, used to work in my department as a temp and then she abandoned me for some kind of real job with benefits. Whatever.

We still chat via email now and again (as in every few hrs) and we ask each other random questions, almost like a game... Here's some of her responses to me:

Q. What celebrity would you like to go on a vacation with:
A. I would go on Vacation with Johnny Depp, he would be in love with me, we would stay on the island that he owns (I saw it on E! so I know he has one) and we would spend our days gazing into each others eyes and him telling me how beautiful, wonderful etc etc I am.
This is a PERFECT answer!! Who wouldn't want to live forever on an island with Johnny???


Q. Dream home?
A. My dream home has 4 bedrooms (master for me, 1 for each of my kids and a guest bedroom), a great room, a bathroom with a claw foot tub for me, a fireplace in my bedroom, an awesome backyard with a hottub but not a trashy one more like a classy looking outdoorsy-ish one, my house would have a cottage feel to it and it would feel like you were on vacation every day because the surroundings would be beautiful, I would have a housekeeper that came every day, and the weather would always be desirable.
Another PERFECT answer---she even controls the weather with her dream house!!


Q. Worst lies ever told?
A. I lied to my parents, teacher, office lady, bus driver and principle about a note that I had a girl on my bus write for me. Its a long story but I forgot my bus note at home, thought it would be a good idea to make a replacement one and have an older kid who knew cursive write it for me (because 4th grade cursive looks like an adults hand writing) and then try to get on the bus that afternoon. Got busted, had to get off the bus, told them all it was my swedish babysitter who was bad at writing english who wrote it for me. Principle came in front of my class and apologized to me and I felt guiltier than sin. NEVER to this day have told my parents, who stuck up for me and said I wouldn't lie about that.

This was the funniest thing...when asked about one of your worst lies ever told-she remembers an incident from early early elementary school!! And THAT is a sign of a GOOD girl!!


Q. Exotic animal you would like to own:
A. Animal would be a monkey, but a well behaved, cuddly cute one and I wouldnt want to change its diaper, Id want it to be potty trained and know sign language so we could like hang out and watch movies together.
EVERYONE wants a monkey!! Except people who have had a baby....and then you realize that a monkey is like a baby that never ever grows up!


Fun "game" we play. I suggest you all try it with any friend you have. Send an email, ask a random question, learn how much you are similar/different. About 95% of the time, I am certain that the answers she's given could have been my exact own! Scary!!

One last one:
We were talking about a recent time when we were disappointed and she told me this story about her boyfriend, who we'll call "Rick." Rick called up Allison at work and told her that he has a surprise for her tonight. Allison spends all day excited to see what it is. Waiting waiting waiting, she goes home from work and waits some more...and then he comes home and he's on the phone when he walks in the door. So she has to wait more....FINALLY he gets off the phone and she has to remind him that he had a surprise....
Was it a new cd?
Was it a wonderful gift certificate to the local spa?
Was it a new book that she had casually mentioned looked good two weeks prior?
Was it a monkey?
.
.
.
.
.
.
nope.

It was a.....BROWNIE!!!! But not just a brownie.
A HALF-EATEN brownie!!! He'd saved her half...which is sweet. But the build-up to that brownie was never going to be as great as that brownie.

And THAT is only something a guy would do!!!



Poor Allison.

I bet she wishes her real name was Allison so this song could be about her, cause the lyrics somewhat fit her brownie situation:
Alison, I know this world is killing you.
Oh, Alison, my aim is true.

What's on Your Phone?

I took this with my phone!!!
It's the view from where I work on a beautiful foggy morning.


I have 88 pictures saved on my phone.


4 are pics of books that I saw at the book store that I wanted to make sure to add to my library list (genius idea really - I take full credit for coming up with this).

1 is of Andrew and his friend when they were at my office early in the morning (they had to work at the hospital that morning but had to ride to work with me 2 hrs before their start time)....they were a little sleepy.


1 is of a rhino trapped inside a slinky slippery snake thing that my friend had at bingo as his good-luck charm.
1 is my coworkers new baby who looks a lot like a glowworm.

1 is another baby--Andrew's cousins new baby, who joined the family a couple months ago and is the newest and greatest "thing" in our life.

1 photo is of the wall in the bathroom at work, where some very wise man (it must be a man) felt it necessary to write 4:20....which has also been written in four elevators, on two signs and on the bathroom mirror once. What good feeling comes from writing this around the building, I have NO idea. Not only do I think pot-smoking is a waste of time, I think that there is nothing more of a waste of time than writing about your pot-smoking throughout the building where you work.

And there's some silly photos...my phone actually will take multiple photos and combine them as one so you get some great action shots..
.

That's about it. There's a few random photos as well.

Oh, that's not 88 photos...no....the rest of the photos, about 35 or so, are pictures of.....THE CATS!!! Seriously - They have to be the cutest cats in the world!!! I must document all of their cuteness!! Here's a great slide show of how cute our cats truly are!!!



(all taken with my nifty little cell phone camera!)

Clickity Click

For those of you who have time to peruse the internet while at work (Alison!), or if you have a little free time at home some evening, these sites are fun:

Big Picture - all big pictures, all the time.

Cake Wrecks - all bad cakes, all the time.

Documentary Videos - all documentary videos, all the time.

Souvenir Photos - all awesome photos, all the time.

Wooster Collection - all street art, all the time.

Cool Mom Picks - all random shopping for cool kid-stuff, all the time.

Slave to Target
- all things Target, all the time.

Cupcakes Rock - all cupcakes, all the time.

B....B....BINGO


My friends and I have recently started going to bingo!

Average amount spent: $8.
Average time spent: 4 hrs.
Average age of participants: 67.
Average amount we have won: $0

It's just 15 minutes down the road and it's CHEAP entertainment. Last night we went and I had a coupon that they gave me for signing up for their free bingo card so I got three bingo sheets for $1. Um, hello??? A DOLLAR!!!! Each sheet is 12 games and is spread out over the 4 hrs and you can seriously win - depending on the day, you can win either $25, $80 or $150 on a basic bingo. Not too shabby for marking numbers.

So Nat and I headed out for a fun-filled Friday night of number marking and money winning.
We have a great time-just chatting and laughing and making fun of each other and people around us. It's a fun time overall....I like to try and make my dauber (the marker) "splatter" and leave a pretty mark on my paper now and again. Not always, cause it's a bit loud and could be potentially bothersome to others. We also like to laugh and talk throughout the entire evening. We also like to randomly repeat numbers out loud...like "fifty-nine, fifty-nine, fifty-nine, fifty-nine, fifty-nine."

We get the nastiest looks from all the elderly around us. They are VERY serious about their bingo and would prefer if no one EVER talk when they enter the room.
During the break, one of the elderly came by and said to us, "you know, you don't have to hit the dauber so hard to leave a mark." No disrespect to the elderly...but yeah, we understand the concept of how a marker works.
So during the second half of Friday night bingo, we randomly say "BING" when we very gently use our dauber. I hope they find the humor in that...cause that's FUNNY.

Nat and I were ready to win one of the big blackout pots: $1199. Every game, we're ready to win, but THIS game-we're really ready to win. So it came as no surprise when Nat started hitting every number...cause you have to cover them all to win, right? But then it became serious....and she very quickly got down to three, then two....then ONE. Just ONE MORE NUMBER!!!

And she starts hyperventilating.
And I start sweating.
And we start panting and gasping for air.
And the little lady near us (a nice one) says "only one left? Already???" and she's a regular so if she's impressed, we were even more confident that we were going to need security to walk us out.
Just ONE NUMBER!!! The big 44.
And numbers kept popping up..and no 44.

And no 44.

And no 44.

And then.....someone else yelled bingo.



Sad.
It was really close - none of us have won before and it would have been amazing to have one of us win the big $1199...but, sigh....maybe next time.

All Alone In a Mad, Mad World

The kid has gone to his other parental unit's house.

This is how his visits usually start if he (the father) has anything to do with it:
We have plans to meet at a certain time. He gets distracted and stops to go skateboarding and ends up 2.5 hrs late.

Does he call? No....of course not. He doesn't carry a cell phone with him. He has one-just didn't think to bring it.
Does he apologize? No....of course not. It's not a big deal to him, he's not sorry.

I remember one year the father was supposed to pick up my beloved six-year old on a certain day. The boy was very excited to go visit his papa and talked about it all week to anyone who would listen. The big day came and our neighbors had invited us to go fishing that morning. Great-a distraction, let's go! So we got up early with them and headed out to catch some lunch. We were having a great time fishing, but headed back early so that we would have time to pack the car, drive back to the house, unload, get cleaned up, eat lunch and be ready to go when pops got there.

And it worked just as we had planned....except we were left waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting. He showed up late at night. No real explanation, no sincere apology, nothing. No cares about the fact that I had been put in the position of having to distract a very sad child for the last 4 hrs, who wanted to do nothing but ask "when's he going to be here?"

And so it goes.

You can not change people. This has been my greatest lesson from being a divorced parent. It has been my greatest struggle, as I would give anything to make my child happy..I don't understand his dad and I can't try to any longer. He will never be anything more than he is and I have stopped hoping for any change.

Sad.

A big well-deserved thumbs down for the dad.

A Walk On The Wild Side

This is SICK. (click here)

I can't get the code to work to embed it here....but it's worth a click!
You have to watch it in full-screen to really benefit from the amazing-ness of this video. Click the button just to the left of the volume icon in the video screen.

I almost couldn't watch the whole thing, but I made it. I had to have a few shots by the end of it, and I threw up a little at one point, and then I guess I fainted because I woke up on the floor, but I think I watched all of it.

It's not something I think I could ever do in real life....I really barely made it through a video of it (in full screen--seriously, it's different that way!!!)

Top Stories of the Night

The two top stories yesterday: (top defined by being part of the first 9 minutes of the news program):

1) A cat with its head stuck in mason jar.
The owners of the cat went to the fire department with their kitty....as opposed to a vet? Or a friend (to help hold/grease Mr. Tibbles)?
(actual photo!!)

2) Girl has doll stolen from yard.
Not sure on the whole story cause I had to turn the tv off. The story was about a girl, maybe 5 or 6, who had left her doll in her front yard and it was stolen. The family contacted the news company because the police weren't doing anything about it and the girl had some kind of emotional need for the doll.
Seriously, she lost her doll? And this is on the news? I'm certain my son lost PLENTY of toys in his younger years (or possibly last week even), and I never once considered calling the police.


One time he had this little Buzz Lightyear and Woody pvc figurines that he took with him everywhere. They fit in his pocket and they were convenient to pull out and play with when bored, like at the grocery store or a restaurant. The perfect travel toys AND he considered Buzz and Woody his personal friends.

We were at the mall one day and stopped by the video arcade to play a couple games (cause I'm fun like that). Little Andrew must have thought that Buzz would bring him luck or something, and he pulled his little plastic Buzz figurine from the safety of his pocket and set him up on the other controller...maybe to "play" the game with him.

He didn't win, even with the power of the space ranger from the Intergalactic Alliance (captain of the Alliance Team even!), and we headed on our way out to the car and as we got settled into our seat belt....tragedy struck. Buzz was found to be MISSING.
A sad situation.

It was a LONG (fast) walk back to the video arcade, where I started introducing the child to the idea that Buzz had probably left the galaxy by now. By some magical stroke of grand-supreme luck, we got to the arcade, searched everywhere we had been and then as a last resort-went to the pimply guy working the counter.....and guess who was waiting for us?
BUZZ!!!!!!!

It was the greatest day of the year. If we hadn't found him-I would have had to call the news station. Thank goodness we avoided that situation.

Walk It Off



TOTALLY going to try this with Andrew's cat!

Thumbs Down!

Andrew and his friends think it's great fun to make fun of my driving skills.
I am a GOOD driver, I really am.
I AM!!!

His friend is currently in drivers ed (and mine will be soon) and as such, they are quick to point out things that they are learning are incorrect.

Like not completely stopping at a stop sign....but gas is expensive and really, if I'm leaving the parking area of my work and I can clearly see there's NOBODY in any way nearby-do I *really* need to make a complete stop? I'm pretty sure I'm saving money with my rolling stop...

It just happened that we were driving home together one day and as I was merging off the freeway during rush-hour, the guy next to me is racing me trying to merge onto the freeway....and we just weren't on the same wave-length (i.e. he didn't have any idea how to merge). So when we finally sorted out how to share the road, he gets alongside of me and does this:


A big dramatic thumbs down, with arm hanging out the window, presented in slow-motion, complete with eye contact.

No good.
It was worse than the normal finger gesture you typically see. It seemed more personal, like when you say, "I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed."

And I have no way of letting him know that I am a good driver--I really am!!!

Aches and Pains Be Gone!

Is there anything better in the world than a good massage??
I had some medical issues this year and as far as I can tell, the only good thing to come from that is that I have reached the maximum I have to pay before my insurance kicks in and starts paying 100%. And so....anything I potentially want to do that requires medical insurance, I'm doing!!

First thing, of course, was to figure out how to get free massages and it turned out to be very easy! I have had TMJ for years and just deal with the pain of it as it flares up and enjoy the peace when it is not a problem. Everything is connected in your body (and mine) and so it isn't just my jaw that is affected, it's my entire left side. My left shoulder is about 4-5inches higher than my right one. My left cheekbone sits a little higher too (which is great for wearing glasses-I used to think my ears were just crooked!).

My doctor is wonderful - I emailed him, explained what I wanted and within 48 hrs, he had a letter approving me to get weekly massages for "neck pain" - because he knows that insurance is sticky about TMJ.

And so it begins.....my first massage was today and I'm on for the next few Mondays. FOR FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is the very best thing to happen to Mondays since How I Met Your Mother-which is a great show (Monday nights on NBC)!!!

Starring a grown up Doogie Howser!!!!

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