I totally forgot about St. Patrick's Day!
No green beer for me.
No corned beef and cabbage.
No lamb stew.
I remember back in the day when people would make a HUGE deal about pinching people who didn't wear green on this very special day. Whatever happened to that fun idea?
Pinching is stupid. Why were we so stupid?
I think we should continue on these lines.
You know how back in the day, it was funny on sitcoms when you saw someone cuff someone on the back of their head? Let's do that if someone doesn't wear red on valentines day.
Or you know how sometimes you go to kick a ball and accidentally kick someone in the shin? Let's do that on 4th of July if someone doesn't have a sparkler.
And here's a good one, how about a noogie for people who don't wish you a happy new year? That'll be fun.
I just don't get why we ever thought this was acceptable as a cultural thing. Eight thousand years ago (or thereabouts), some naughty Irish children started this tradition (supposedly) and we went along with it. Naughty children should not be rewarded. Let's stop this tradition!!
This reminds me of the naughty little kids game I was introduced to very soon after moving to Korea.
This is how it goes:
Put your hands together and point your index fingers, like so:
(wow, someone has freakishly long index fingers....)
K, now you have your hands in the proper position....now - find a victim. Typically this is best done on a new-to-the-country English teacher. Even better if they are innocently doing something, such as making copies. And this is BEST done if there is a large crowd of students and other children.
Under these optimum conditions, you then take your hand-as-weapon, and slowly sneak up behind your victim and very quickly and quietly aim your pointer fingers at the center, lower area of the buttocks and JAB them as quickly as possible into your victims rear end. The best part is if you actually can get your fingers in just the right spot that might cause your new-to-the-country English teacher to squeal and turn at a lightning fast speed with a shocked and horrified look on their face. I'm not going to say that this game happened to me on multiple occasions by various children, but I will say that if it did happen to me-no child dared try to repeat it.
Other adults tolerate it and think it's funny and I have seen grown men in suits IN SUITS chasing young children around with the dreaded pointer finger hand pose.
There's a name for it in Korea, which I'm sure I will spell wrong, but when you speak it, it is pronounced like: Duh Dong Chong (or something very similar).
Go ahead, try it with your friends.