How (not) to Dye Your Hair at Home

Todays blog post is brought to you by the color RED.

I have dyed my hair at home at least 15 times in the past. I have never had any really horrible experiences....until yesterday.

I decided I would add a brighter red to my dark hair color. Dark, aside from the many, many gray hairs all about. On normal hair, it would possibly be REALLY red, this new color...but I suspected that my hair would just be a red tint, as it takes a lot to lighten it (not that I've ever really tried to go really light...but all colors I have tried have never ended up very bright.
So....got an old shirt on, found a towel I can get the dye on (it's inevitable), cleared the counter, moved the bathmat. READY!!!

Mix bottle one with two, then add number three. CHECK!

Then I start rubbing in the mixture.
And I'm mixing and mixing and rubbing from roots to ends and I realize that the mixture is a purple-gray color, but whatever--it's a new type I'm using and each one seems to be a little different. So I continue on and on, stressing the areas in the front. Perfect! Done!
Got my hair pushed on the top, held it with a clip, took off the rubber gloves and started cleaning the counter....and wait, what's that?? A little red tube over there....with the shampoo and conditioner....I thought it was a rinse thing you add in. And then light bulbs start popping over my head...RED bottle? Small vial...hmmm...

And then it struck me that perhaps that little red vial was supposed to be mixed in with the mixture? Hmmm...maybe.


I busted out the directions again and hmm...yes indeed-that was the actual dye product to be mixed in with the chemical products. Hmm...what do you do at this point?

The little vial thing felt like it contained a creme. So my solution was to just pour some of the cream into my hair and then use the ends of my hair like a little basting brush and rub in the creamy red color, maybe sparing my hands from getting dirty at all.

Great plan.

However, the plan went afoul from the very beginning.

First, it was not a creme at all. But a very very slick and fast-moving super-bright red liquid.
And it didn't just come out in a little splat. Nope - it FLEW out like it had been waiting for years to escape!

Remember how I had taken off my protective hand coverings?

And now I have fast-moving super-bright red dye leaking down one side of my face...so what can you do but use your hand to try and catch it? From this point on, I looked as if I had been part of a crime scene. My hands were this shockingly bright red, along with a huge smear down my cheek, one ear, a big peanut shape across my forehead and big globbity sections of my scalp.
hmmm...not quite like the picture on the box showed.

I was my very own I Love Lucy episode, my friends. But with a bright red dye instead of chocolates spilling everywhere.


I started scrubbing my hands, and all I could think of was having to go to work with bright red palms...like a bank robber gets when they open the bank bag! Luckily, most of it came off. I was left today with just large pink areas on my hands. I redyed my hair tonight and it's definitely much much more normal looking and my scalp is not shockingly red anymore (except a few places that are hidden away.

The freak show is over folks - nothing to see here.

10 comments:

  1. Nat said...:

    Please tell me you have a picture of this!

  1. Badass Geek said...:

    This is how I fear it will turn out whenever my wife has her friends help her color her hair.

  1. Margaret said...:

    Oh my gosh. That sounds like something I would do. Glad that your hair redyed and that you aren't walking around looking like you did tie dye. Thanks for the laugh!

  1. Portland Rose said...:

    Did you not take a picture!? What kind of blogger are you? At least what your hair looks like now!

  1. Oh my goodness. I am sorry!! And did you get your hair colored?

    Cynthia

  1. Oh man, that sounds like the time I tried to dye my hair blonde. I bought "born blonde" which will take even the darkest colors blonde..except they didn't mention that if you have dye on your hair it might not work out. So even though I only had a light brown color, because it was a dye I should have stripped my hair. After it was done some was still brown, some was orange and some super-crazy platinum blonde. THEN, like a good I bought an auburn color which was pretty for about one day, and then became this horrible stoplight red. Oh, the things we do to ourselves!

  1. Raven said...:

    What a mess! I always double and triple check what I am doing against the directions cuz I'm always paranoid that I'm going to do something like that. lol Having said that, even checking the instructions won't protect you from stupidity. Since my eyebrows are very light I decided to dye them one time. I didn't get any in my eyes, but it dyed the skin around my eyebrows too so I had big black splotches around my eyebrows for like 3 days!

    I'm glad it didn't totally screw up your hair. The pink will fade fast.

  1. kel said...:

    I need a picture!!! so funny!

  1. oh come on you know we need pictures right

  1. That could have been my story. I wish you'd have the intestinal fortitude to post a picture of yourself, heehee

    Visiting from SITS :)

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