The End is Near


It was 100 degrees at 7:30pm tonight.
Does anyone still negate the idea of global warming?
The weather is most definitely getting hotter every summer, colder every winter. It is pretty clear...we are going to die. We are all going to melt. If we didn't melt during the summer, we will surely freeze during the winter.
It is only a matter of time.

Random Thoughts Tuesday - Heat Wave Edition

randomtuesday


Why is CSI on for 12 hours straight EVERY day?

It's 103 outside. I have the best central air conditioner in the world and am slightly covered with a blanket on the most comfy chair in the world. I love love love my new house!

I went to the dentist this morning. I have to say that it was the best dental experience I've ever had. They gave me the special magic breathing gas even though I told them that I wasn't going to get it because it's not covered by my insurance. Apparently they felt it was better for the entire office to write off the cost and just give me the gas. Did I mention I'm high anxiety at the dentist? I also took a 1.5 pills of vicodin before I went. Never fear, I brought along a trusty teenager chauffeur to bring me home. You could say I was slightly high...there may have been evidence of that when I cried out in surprise/horror when I touched my mouth and thought my gums were leaking out, when in reality it was really my lip. Fun times.

It's so great having your washer/dryer in the garage and out of site...however, when it's a million degrees out, you don't want to do laundry. I have gone about ten days and only done one load. This tells me that we have lots of clothes.

I have a box of clothes in my closet-a large moving size box of clothes-that I have not even looked at in months. They mean nothing to me until I lose at least 15-20 pounds. I hope to be able to visit his box by end of year. Is that so hard? Not for normal people.

Did I mention my treadmill is also in the million-degree garage? I need to bring that in...it's lonely.

We sent in the application for Andrew's passport today!! He had one when he was little-it's expired now that he's more of a mancub and not a cub of a man. We go to Puerto Vallarta in less than 90 days!!!

Three teens have died in two different local rivers in the last week. Scary. Sad.

I can't believe it's almost August already!! Where has the year gone?? I need to revisit my yearly goals. I suspect that I have not made as much progress as I should have.

I think I might need to find a boyfriend. I have too much to do around the house to be single.

If anyone sees my ex-husband, could you please tell him to call his son? It's been almost a year since the "Dad" has called...Actually, I should give you all his phone number and you can all give a reminder call to this wonderful "father."

Speaking of dicks...I have seen our boy cat's penis three times in the last month. That's three times more than I have seen it in the last 2 yrs of having a boy cat. Gross. I'm so glad I am a girl.

Weekend Wrap-Up

Another weekend has gone past and we are all now one weekend less in 2009. Sad. Time is moving so fast.


This weekend was okay, I guess.

Had to have a very parental talk with a certain teenager about internet usage. Parenting is hard. As I always tell my friend Natalie: Protect your uterus!!! Hats off to all the parents out there!

But then my friends came over and we had a games night! For five years, I lived in an apartment and had friends over about ten times. Never for games night. Since I moved in here just 9 weeks ago (only 9??), I have had about six games nights. And a few separate bbqs on top of that. It's just so much fun to have a welcoming atmosphere.


**Commercial Break** Has anyone seen the show Ice Road Truckers? It's on the History channel and if you ever want to get your heart racing, watch this really slow-paced, but anxiety filled documentary. It just follows truckers as they drive this particular road in Alaska. Yeah, that's IT-the whole plot of the show. And it's seriously a show about watching people drive. That's it. However....I watch it and I feel like I'm stroking out. My heart starts racing...the trucks are driving this absurd mountain road that is just ice. All ice. And then add in some big snow drifts. And a random moose trotting down the highway. It's insane.

And now back to our regular scheduled post:

So games night was Friday and we played a couple hours of Cranium and it was a total blast (as always).


We followed that with a couple hours of Taboo, which is a hilarious game. One of my favorites was when my friend Dean (pictured above in the middle) gets the word Rip Van Winkle. He's trying to make everyone say it and has no idea who it is. His first clue to his teammates: "This is a mass murderer."

Say what? Poor Rip...apparently he has a bad reputation amongst certain groups.


I love playing games with people, but be warned...I am competitive. I dislike when clues are given - to me, that makes the game turn into less of a "game" and more of a "let's just read trivia outloud," which doesn't interest me so much. I'm sure I drive a number of people crazy with this, but c'mon...play the game as a game, right? Right. And I don't need to win...I like to, of course, but I'm okay not winning. I'm not sure some people understand how you can be really competitive but not take it personal about losing.

Anyway, Saturday was a lot of lounging about, which seems to be the theme anytime the temperature is above 88. My friend and I went to late-night bingo and I won two games, but one I had to share with 4 others (made $20) and then another was just a lead-up to a blackout ($25 winning). Still nice to win and I made back the $15 I spent. And I got to have a fun night out with a girl friend.

Sunday was a day of miscellaneous chores. First on the list, and most important, was buying tickets to Puerto Vallarta. DONE! We're not going for a few months, but it feels good to have a vacation planned!

Next up was an unexpected chat session with my sister, who I haven't talked with for months and months. What'd we talk about, you ask? Well.....Boggle actually. We played online boggle together. Fun game!! I'm thinking about going pro and giving up my day job, cause I am really good at Boggle!!

I managed to do some random household chores and sit down to blog and now my Sunday is almost over.


Here's a few pics of my beautiful backyard from yesterday. Notice the grass? I kinda like it with golden colors and greens mixed in together. Saves me on my water bill, right? Is there any reason why it has to be green all year? I hope not...cause mine is not going to be!



Yes, I left my hose in the yard during the sun. Yes, I know you shouldn't do this.

Today Just Sucks!

*whining begins*

For the 3rd time in a month, I have spent at least 90-120 minutes of my evening trying to get my internet working on my stupid laptop. That's three different nights mind you. And could I just accept an internet free night and get lots done, like maybe unpack some stuff that is obviously not important or it would be unpacked by now, but still needs to be unpacked because I have room for EVERYTHING and shouldn't have my stuff packed up still? NO. I had to try REALLY hard to get the internet to work.

I'm trying to do some research on the hotel we might stay at in Mexico. It seems like every time I start searching for good prices, I find a great deal, save it to my itineraries in Expedia and then plan to spend the next night researching the hotel...but by the time I get back to it, the price has changed and I have to start all over again. I just need about a 6 hour block of time to order tickets. I guess I might have to wait til the weekend....and hope that the prices aren't continuously going up. Ergh. Could someone please call Expedia and let them know that I am having computer trouble and I'd appreciate them holding some prices for longer than 12 hours? Thanks.

My phone was not working right today. I suspect it was because I was trapped in the basement of our building all morning and was in a dead zone, but the phone is SUCH a smartphone that it continuously tried to connect to my gmail server, my outlook server and the Verizon network. For THREE hours straight. I realized what it was doing and shut it off after hour three, but by then the battery was pretty dead. And so I plugged it into my laptop when I got home. The laptop I have been working on. Restarting and restarting. And then I talked to the tech services guy and it kept threatening to die. I hate my phone today. Make note--that's two electronics that are not my friends.

AND - Monday I wore shoes that I haven't worn for ages and which are great shoes---but cause blisters. I put some moleskin on first even...but STILL got blisters (okay, that's my fault...I do not know how to use moleskin apparently). So I got a big fat blister--the size of an oversized dime. Almost a nickel, but not quite. Luckily, I have these great blister bandaids and you put it on and it somehow helps it heal really fast. Unluckily, when I pulled it off to change it after my shower tonight, I found that the special healing bandaid thing had just ripped the blistered skin right off my foot and left a big hole where I once had skin. Sigh. For those keeping score: that's two electronics and one pair of dansko mary janes that are not my friends.

I have to go to the dentist tomorrow, which is worse than going to the gynecologist. Or the proctologist. Tomorrow is just a 90-minute new patient exam with a cleaning, xrays and the like...but then I have to go back again soon (hopefully) to fix the cracked tooth. I am asking for some Valium, and maybe some laughing gas in the waiting room, and probably some narcotics immediately following. I hate hate hate the dentist. HATE it. For the scorecard: that's two electronics, one pair of dansko mary janes and all dentists everywhere that are not my friends.

The neighbors whose back yard is on the other side of the fence along the back side of the yard are having a party of some sort. It sounds like it might just be a few men, outside talking...but they have some really crappy music playing quite loud. Then they are talking loud because the music is loud. I can't really say much cause there have been a number of nights where my friends and I were outside on the deck talking late and probably loud into the night, and I know Andrew and his friends have done the same...BUT we don't play music and we typically do it on the weekend. It's the first time I've even heard this neighbor at all...in seven weeks of living here, but hello----it's WEDNESDAY. Don't these people work?? hmmm..it is only 10:30. Now I feel like an old grumpy lady. For the record: that's two electronics, one pair of dansko mary janes, all dentists everywhere and young people who play crappy music outside on weeknights that are not my friends.

I'm in the dark in the best chair in the world, and the pale light coming from my laptop makes it hard to see things clearly, but I'm 80% certain that a spider just crawled across my chest. It might have been my hair, which is wet and kinda strewn all about, but I'm pretty sure it was a spider. My reaction, after a long hard day of frustration: just lightly brushed it off me onto the floor. I just can't deal with creatures right now.

Final Tally - that's two electronics, one pair of dansko mary janes, all dentists everywhere, and young people who play crappy music outside on weeknights that are not my friends. Spiders are my friends.

*end whining*

Random Thoughts Tuesday

randomtuesday



Why do they bleep out the "hole" on tv, instead of the "ass"?

Why is it so horrible for my cat for me to touch her back feet?? They are so soft and I want to rub them, like a genie's lamp.

I still am in disbelief that Arnold Schwarzenegger is the head of a state. And that his state is $27 billion short on money. I'm not placing blame...I'm just saying.
I read a book last week about a girl (the author) and her mom who lived in Italy for 6 weeks. I regret that I didn't attempt some kind of book deal before living in Korea for 14 months.


I have kept the new house at a nice 74-77 degrees most every day and my electric bill is not much different than it was in our apartment, which was half the size and had no a/c. I do not know how this is possible, and I am not going to be the one to alert the power company that something is not right.
My cat used to be very well-behaved at night and always curled up in a ball at my feet, like cats are supposed to. Lately, she's chosen to either sleep in another room or to sleep directly next to my breathing orifices. Ever wake up with your mouth smothered by a purring furball? Stephen King movie like...I have twice this week.

We have bbq'd four nights in a row now. The bbq is the bst invention ever.

Last Saturday I spent about six hours playing backgammon online. I also spent about 2 hours over the weekend signing up for free samples of anything and everything. In 4-6 weeks, my postal carrier is going to be VERY overwhelmed!!

I learned a valuable lesson I must pass on to everyone....if you buy a beautiful plant at lunchtime and it's about 90degrees outside, you cannot leave the beautiful plant in the car with the windows up for five hours or you will return and find that it looks like this: (sorry, my laptop is not cooperating - please place your left ear to your left shoulder for viewing, thanks!)


Mexico Anyone?

We have not had a vacation in FOREVER.

I took a short trip to Vegas early this year and the kid went a couple places last year with others, but together-it's been maybe THREE years! And he's only with me for two more years (assuming he leaves immediately for college)...I feel like I should take advantage of the time we have together.


Andrew would really LOVE to go to Hawaii. Who wouldn't, ya? However...I'm looking into taking a short trip to Mexico - it would probably be Sept or October.


It's just so CHEAP to go to Mexico!! For example, looking at trips to Hawaii, just the airfare and hotel for two is about $1700 total (for the cheaper hotel). For both of us to go to Mexico, airfare and 4-nights at an all-inclusive hotel is $1200!! And that includes all meals!


And food in Hawaii is mega-expensive. And all activities in Hawaii will cost money.

The place in Mexico I'm looking at has a small water park, is on the beach, has personal watercrafts for its guest to use, snorkeling gear and lessons, windsurfing and boogie-boarding/surfing are nearby, etc....there just seems to be so much to do that is included in your price. And the idea of all-inclusive is the greatest thing EVER.


I'm looking at San Jose del Cabo. It's not as big of a tourist trap as Cabo San Lucas I think....it's north a wee bit.


Anyone been there?
Anyone have advice on Mexico?

Anyone care that I have wanted to go to Mexico for at least 6 years now and that it might be a reality is making me jump up and down and squeal like a little girl who was just promised a pony?

Just a Cat Update

For those of you keeping score:

Cat teeth: 0
Me: 1


Brushing the teeth of your cat isn't so hard...you just need a towel, cat toothbrush, cat toothpaste. And some kind soothing words.

And did I mention a towel? Cause that's a key piece of this scenario.
I wrapped my little furry friend up, gave her a little speech about how normal cat breath smells bad, but hers smells like death. Worse than death really...and it's just not pretty for her. It distracts from her beauty.

And then the torture began.

The key is to have the blanket holding their little squiggly, spear-like paws all comfy and warm in the blanket.

And then start brushing, gently but QUICKLY.

I think I got to each tooth that I possibly could in the less-than-two minute brushing spree, but I can't say that it helped her at ALL. Breath still smells horrid, but I imagine it's going to take time to bust through the layer of death-smelling-grime on her teeth. I don't know if she'll still love me by that time though...

(and I wanted to have pics to post, but the kid was all, "I don't want either cat to associate me with this torture of yours" and he refused to help at all. Lame. But that means that they also won't thank him when they have fresh minty breath.

Random Thoughts Tuesday

Yay it's Tuesday!!

randomtuesday


If you don't know already, Keely over at The UnMom, hosts Random Thoughts Tuesday. We all link together and throw out our random thoughts. Click on the button to check out more random thoughts.

I love Tuesday because it means I work from home. I'm on my new comfy over sized chair, I have a comfy blanket, a great view of my beautiful backyard, and I tend to spend the majority of the day in what some might call "pajamas."

My cats breath smells so wickedly bad. I bought a little kitty toothbrush and toothpaste for her, but well....this seems like it's more torturous than trying to give her a bath. Or making her ride on the back of a large dog. Or giving her a long, relaxing pedicure (pawdicure? ha!). I think I might have to try it later, as it's REALLY bad. Like something died inside of her bad.

The cat we had when Andrew was younger had really bad teeth too (I'm sure this is just coincidence and not something that we are doing!). When we went to travel to Korea, the vet who had to sign off on her health certificate wouldn't sign off on her being certifiably healthy until we fixed her rotten teeth. And they were ROTTEN. When she was about 6, she had two that had to be pulled. They literally rotted and when she went to eat one day, they just broke. It was a horrible bloody mess (and not just in the British way of saying bloody). Anyway, so the health certificate vet tells me that the teeth must be cleaned and by this point, the little kitty toothbrush is not going to be sufficient. I had to pay to have little kitty knocked out and have her teeth lasered. LASERED!!! Her teeth were much better after that. My wallet was not. So anyway...if you hear a loud earth-shattering noise later tonight, rest assured we are not having an Armageddon. It is just my cat getting her teeth cleaned.

I realized earlier this week that I have a hole in my tooth. Remember how when you were little and you got those metal fillings? And then you grew up and found out that they aren't meant to last a normal human lifespan? Well, one of mine had cracked a tooth a while back, and I let it go...and now it's apparently busted through and I can fully see a hole where there once was a tooth. Sad. I absolutely despise the dentist. And I really really despise the dentist bills. Even with insurance, dentists are ridiculous.

I can't believe it's mid-July already. Are we on some kind of time-accelerator?? I hate it. I want it to slow down.

I read this book called Notes Left Behind, 135 Days with Elena. It's about a little girl who has brain cancer-it's her parents journal. I knew how it ended all along, but still...when the moment at the end of the book comes, I was devastated. I'm not a big cryer....but I had a BIG cry in this book. It's really really sad, but very touching.

I also read the new Dean Koontz, and in typical Dean Koontz fashion-I couldn't put it down.
And last week I read a book about a female doctor who went to work in Saudi Arabia, and all that she went through while working there. Very interesting story...I'll have to find the name of it for you all. I love reading about other cultures from a first-hand account of someone who lived through it, not for the purpose of living in another culture, but by some other circumstance, like the doctor who took a job there.

It's almost 8:30am, is it too early for microwave kettle corn and a cherry coke?

I'm going to start a puzzle today. I must keep up my superior puzzle skills if I'm going to go pro some day.

Weekend Wrap-Up, in Photos

This was Friday night:beer I did not drink all these.



blackberry brandy slushBlackberry brandy slush!! YUM!

I may have drunk(en?) most of this myself.


cheesecake varietyCheesecake!

I for sure did not eat all these myself (though I could have).


This looks more exciting than it was...hennaOne of the girls is a henna artist and showed us her skills.

This came about about 4 hours later...it is exactly what it looks like.

Just two drunken girls rubbing up on a half-naked man. Typical Friday, right?


And then today we had a small get-together with some friends who have kids...a more tamer version of Friday night. WAY more tame. And for some reason, I didn't take any pictures of anything other than the food...



And this most beautiful little girl!!!


That's her real hair, though it looks like extensions...it's real. And she's the most adorable little girl you could imagine.

Better Than Ice Cream

I worked in the backyard on Thursday...thinning out the strawberry patch (it was out of control!) and cutting back some bushes and probably pulling out things that are meant to be flowers but I thought might be weeds. Andrew came home and helped towards the end, but this is where he was most helpful - raking.

Not raking the yard.

Raking the itchiness off my arms:

this is a look of pure joy

Grasses and trees and such make me very itchy, red and miserable. Andrew unfortunately seems to have inherited this lovely skin of mine and as I was finishing up, I see him off to the side of the yard and he's using the rake to scratch his leg, to which I yelled, stop that!! It can't be good for his skin, right?

But then he brought it over to me and said, check this out...and I am not kidding that it is the best feeling in the entire world!!! You should all rush out and buy this rake cause it will satisfy your itchy arms/legs better than anything you could imagine.

Make sure you test it out in the store. Take a friend, it's a 2-person job.

I Heart Sweden

Yay for Ikea!!

My friend Nancy and I headed out to Ikea yesterday. We had three agenda items:

1) Break Nancy's Ikea virginity and introduce her to the world of the
Swedish
2) Exchange the broken hinge from my son's futon and get a new one (no, I
don't have a receipt, yes it's over 90 days -it's actually been 3 yrs).
3) Find something for my mantle.

And over a 2.5 hr time frame---we actually accomplished all three!!!

I held Nancy's hand and coaxed her through the store. (not really) We opened every cupboard, every drawer, every cabinet. We looked at every utensil, every glass, each vase, every picture, touched each rug. We are Ikea experts now. Most important lesson---bring your own carrying bag!! They have nothing you can pack your stuff into after checking out. So if you were to buy lots of little kitchen gadgets, you're left to carry them out yourself. You can use the cart, but who wants to just drop all that in the back of your car??

I somehow got the nicest customer service person EVER at the return desk and she took one look at my broken piece, and about three minutes later, she had a brand new un-broken hinge for me to walk away with. And when I jokingly told her that the guy on the phone said the price was only $4.00, even after she said it was five, she then charged me only four!! I have not ever had such a good Ikea experience!!

I got some tall glass vases for the mantel. Nothing to hang up yet, because I am SUPER picky about what I hang and especially about spending over $50.00 on something to hang up. The vases are working for me. I think a bigger vase of fresh flowers in the middle will make the end result lovely. Stay tuned for pictures. You'll be amazed. It won't be anything like the great paintings I did, but it'll be pretty.

Random Thoughts Tuesday

randomtuesday


Oy, Michael Jackson memorial...please be done now. He's gone, he was great, blahblah, I suspect there are a large number of families (with young boys) who he affected who are not in mourning and who were "touched" by MJ, but not in the same way as, say, Brooke Shields and Usher apparently were. The news media is insane on this - one of the reporters on CNN said "everyones heart is literally breaking." And I thought, she's a reporter and just used the word literally that way?? My heart is not breaking. I'm sad for the people who are sad. The end. Let's move on. Literally.

We are training the cats to use the kitty door into the garage so I can put the kitty litter in there. So far, it's a lot of pushing-not a lot of using of the paws. I think that once one of them figures it out, the other will figure it out quickly. My bet is on the female cat, cause females are literally smarter.

I have been watching Chelsea Lately lately. Anyone watch this? She's a spunky smartass and I really like her. Set your dvr today! If you're paying for your dvr, you're losing out. Seriously---call Comcast and tell them that you are switching to Verizon because you were offered a free dvr and a great plan. I can literally guarantee you that you will get a discount. Literally.

I have two sprinkler heads---I suspect one of them was broken when I moved in. The other had an unfortunate run-in with the lawn mower (thanks Alison!). I can fix the mashed head (it's okay Alison!!) easily enough, says the internet. The one that doesn't have water coming out of it at all is another issue altogether.

Oh, back to the MJ Memorial - LA had to have 1/3 of its' police force working today. Um, who paid for that?? Not me, thank goodness. I suspect that if you live in LA, you are responsible. And we all thank you. Cause we literally would have been lost without the memorial. Literally.

I am drinking on Friday. For those of you who know me recently, this is a rare occurrence. Our family has a history with alcohol and I don't typically avoid drinking around my son...and so he has been tasked to find somewhere to spend the night Friday and I have about 10 friends coming over to help toast my new house. Housewarming party number one!! We're having a normal, non-drinking party on Sunday. Andrew is welcome at that one. Everyone is really. My family can't make it. Sad. But that means we'll get housewarming party number 3!! Yay!

I'm going to Ikea to fight for a broken piece of Andrew's bed. Sound familiar? I literally have had to do this before. It was successful last time-wish me luck. Maybe while I'm there I can find a painting to hang on the wall, since I am a total failure at painting. Literally.

I've lost at bingo three times in a row now. I may as well give it up. I had all my luck all at one time and now it's over.

Is there anything as weird as when a cat cleans their feet? They spread them out and they look alien. Check it out sometime. It's creepy.

That's all for me....peace out.

I Am Not An Artist, Evidence B

a little blurry...but you get the point...

You know how "they" say that you can do anything you set your mind to? Well, they are definitely wrong, as Evidence B above.

I set my mind to recreating a couple works of art I saw in magazines, art that was EASY to recreate....one which was really just rows of color. ROWS - how hard is it to make rows with different colors of paint?? Apparently, judging by my first painting, rows are hard to do. And apparently, picking the right colors to create the rows is VERY important. Somehow, I recreated the gay pride flag instead of the very pretty rows of color piece of art I saw in a magazine.

And the green mess above was a recreation of a really pretty piece that was just a very pale color with small sections where there was a little darker of the pale color...I didn't have enough white to make a really pale green and so I had to make a slightly light green...but then I ran out of that light color so I had to do the other green, and I felt like it was just too green...so I added a blue square...but then it looked like yet another flag!!! So I had to make it appear like it was meant to be abstract like that all along...sigh.

Ridiculous.
People who can paint obviously have some kind of witchcraft powers, because I really really try - I envision, I plan, I think really hard, I say a little request to god, jesus, buddha and allah...and then I end up with a green/blue mess and a gay pride flag, neither of which look anything at all like my original idea. I am hanging up my paints. I am going to look into a new creative outlook of some sort. Painting is just not my thing. [Insert sad face here]

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