I wish my life was more diverse.
There was some GQ article about how Oprah is making into a movie where some reporter set about making his friend circle more diverse and how the real lesson came to be not making new friends of different backgrounds and/or races, but how difficult it is to make friends in general, as an adult.
And this is so true....it really is hard.
Meeting people isn't that hard sometimes, like through work, or kids sports events, but actually crossing the bridge from "I know that person" to "I am her friend!"
So what makes someone want to be your friend? Same interests, but just because I love to play board games and you love to play board games, doesn't mean that you're going to love to play board games with me, or vice versa.
And once you find that you have a connection with someone, how long do you have to wait before they are calling you just to talk, or suggesting dinner on a lazy Saturday, or planning parties with you?
At my age, I feel like one of the hindrances is that I'm single. A lot of people my age are part of a couple, so this is difficult sometimes, as there is no spouse to hang with their spouse. We aren't doing couples things because it's just me and them. It is a bit of a third-wheel atmosphere.
Another smaller hindrance is that I have a child. A child with no spouse-two whammies against me. I don't' want to go to happy hour after work- I want to have dinner with my son. I am not going to go away on a weekend getaway with the girls (well, maybe a couple times a year), because I know there is a teenage party just waiting to have me leave town. And yes, he is older now, and he doesn't need me, but he is older-he's leaving my house in 16 months for college. He's flying the nest soon---I have a strong desire to be around as much as possible for the next 16 months.
So how do you make friends?
How do you move from knowing someone to hanging out with them?
How do you find people who don't irritate you to no end, who actually feel the same about you, who live close enough to hang out, who are either single or fairly independent, who don't have small kids but have kids, who have the same interests as you, and who aren't clingy but who make an effort to hang out with you?