Life Interfering With Life, But Not With Random Thoughts

I'm a bad blogger this month. I've lost my mojo...I think others have found it, judging by the number of blogs I have waiting for me in my reader.

I know this is annoying to some people, but I am going to confess, and I know I'm not the first, that my motivation to blog is spurred on by comments. I'm not saying I need 50 comments a day to feel good about blogging. And I don't blog for the sake of getting comments. But in some ways, it's like if you were to have the attention of part of the world and you open your diary and start reading entries out loud to the group in front of you. If 99% of the people walk away while you're sharing something about your life, do you really continue to read your story out loud? Probably not for long.

So this means something, right? Either I have the most boring blog webly possible, or people just aren't available.  Some people have a REALLY busy February, like me. And I'm sure some people volunteer every night, not me. And some people have babies, or work double shifts, or are in the midst of a divorce, or are taking a full college load, or delete my feed as soon as it arrives in their inbox because I have bored them too often to make them waste their time yet again.

Life is so busy!!!  There are riots, and hurricanes, and freak thunder storms, and pets are injured, and babies are born, and people fall in love, and people get their hearts broken. Meetings go into the late hours, and work requests just never stop. People struggle with personality conflicts at work, and struggle to connect to their spouse who they swore to love (but c'mon-committed for LIFE is a big concept). People are getting new kidneys, and people are having babies born with just one perfect kidney. Some of you are struggling to make friends, and some of you are struggling to maintain the ones you have. I get it...life is hard. I'm with ya.

And in all of this...is a blogger named Kaylen, just writing about her somewhat-boring life. And feeling like there is too much going on, but there is nothing going on. Life is not fulfilling, but life is just perfect. Oreo cookies are wonderful, but oreo cookies are oh so bad. I want another kitten, but I don't want to have to clean the kitty box more than I already have to (note to self: toilet-train Whiskers this summer). I want to walk for an hour on the treadmill, but then I have no time to do dishes/laundry/blog/read a book/print my photos for my class tomorrow/get a full nights sleep. You know what I mean? There is just this huge spectrum of LIFE going on around me.

BUT

What if I'm missing it?
What if I'm not meant to see it?

What if it's over before I'm ready to be done?

What if I keep spewing out words and blog so many random thoughts in one blog post at one time that people worry that I'm highly intoxicated?

What if I actually got highly intoxicated and blogged some seriously funny shit?  But then the next day discovered it wasn't really funny, but just plain shit? What if we all promise to blog while drunk at least once a year, then we share the shit together and it's more funny that way?

What if I never get a twitter account?

What if I failed to do the dishes tonight, even knowing that I will be gone from 8am - 9:45pm tomorrow and that when I get home there will be even more dishes in the sink waiting for me, but I did this knowingly because I wanted to vomit out these words to all of you....most of whom are not paying attention anyway..


What if I turn 37 in less than a week and totally freak out that my life is half over?

14 comments:

  1. Raven said...:

    I know what you mean, I gave up air and now subsist on blog comments, but don't get nearly as many as I'd like for all the time I put into my blogs.

    If potty-training Whiskers is successful please share with me how you did it, cuz I'm so sick of litter boxes I could just vomit.

    P.S. Your blog is not boring!

  1. Brian Miller said...:

    yeah i get the half over part...coming up on 38 and i am trying to make the most of every day...

    comments...you got to give to get is the only formula i have found...its like a water pump you have to prime...kinda like a conversation...its cyclical too...i have noticed less recently myself...

    so no you are not boring...keep writing...smiles.

  1. unmitigated me said...:

    I'm approaching 48, and I'm thinking MY life is just half over. So you still have a good chunk of time left.

  1. LOL you can't think your life is half over at 37! I turn 40 this year and refuse to think I am half done :)

    I have had my blog for over 4 years and some months I am better at blogging than others. Heck this year I had to choose topics because my life frankly isn't that exciting. When it is I can't blog about it because my family reads my blog (dang them LOL). Of course, exciting happens about once every 6 months so I would still have to have topics!

  1. Hi! Waving from here in Florida. I have had a crappy ass winter. I read a lot of blogs but don't have the energy to lot of comments.

    My sister-in-law is toilet training 2 cats that she adopted as 2 yr olds. If you seriously want the info shoot me a comment on my blog and I'll find out what program she is using.

  1. Alison said...:

    Comment!!!! Hi. Sorry I don't comment on your blog more. Life is busy lately. And tiring. And there aren't enough hours in the day....yada yada. You are right! Keep on bloggin' on!

  1. Brandy@YDK said...:

    life is hard. and i really liked this post. i think everyone loves comments. You won't freak out next week. You'll just keep on living that other half.

  1. Denis said...:

    Here's a comment. I see what you mean about age.
    Since I recently turned 30 last year it was tough on me :)

  1. kilax said...:

    Sometimes I think it's better when I just live life - all the things you were saying - and ignore the blog. Although, the blog is an entirely different part of my life!

  1. Peek-a-boo…I read you. I know I don’t comment that often, but don’t take it personally. If I left a comment on every blog in my Google Reader I’d never even make it half way through the list.

    I agree with what Brian Miller said; if you want to get comments you have to leave them. Also, if you’re looking to get feed back from family and friends who don’t blog, good luck. Since I’ve moved to India my Stat Counter is showing that I get anywhere from 50 to over a hundred hits a day…but only a handful of comments. I figure that at least there are people out there following me and it’s not in vain.

    Oh, and 37? You’re still young. I turn 49 in two months, ouch!

  1. TQ said...:

    You're still young :) I would love to see your drunk blog posts! And I for one love your blog!

  1. Oh, your blogger angst echoes mine as I approach a new decade next week! Are you in my head or what?

  1. Nat said...:

    Or what if your totally awesome friend Natalie (who has almost been too busy to eat these past few weeks, but will have much more time to hang out with my awesome friend Kaylen in the next few weeks) commented on your blog to say- "KAYLEN IS AWESOME!"?

    :)

  1. Denis said...:

    Yes Kaylen's blog is awesome! When there is one. It's been 4 days?? What's up with that?

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