Foster Parenting Weekend - It's A Hard-Knock Life

This weekend I had another foster child. This has only been my fourth visitor, but it feels like I've been doing this much longer. It's heavy on the soul.

This latest boy is 17 years old. He's in a new foster home as of five weeks ago. He had a different foster home late last year. I don't know how many he has had total in the seven years he has been in foster care, but moving homes is not a new thing for him. The most tragic part is that he is so close to legal age and he will age out of the foster care system, without ever having a "real" home.
This just hurts my heart.

He will probably have assistance of some kind for the rest of his life. Thanks to a mom who drank while she was pregnant, this innocent child is not developmentally where he should be. I don't know his story beyond the fetal alcohol syndrome and frequent foster homes, but I can see his future...

It's one where he has no "home" to go home to.
And one where if he is broken-hearted over something, he doesn't have a mom to call to talk him through it.
And there's no family recipes for him to make on holidays.
And no one to call him and see that he is doing well and let him know he cares.

And just as a reminder, kids who are in therapeutic foster care (in my state anyway), are not allowed to be spontaneously hugged by foster parents. To give a hug, you have to ask the child directly - can I give you a side hug? And then if you get a confirmed yes, then you hug from the side only. So these foster kids don't get the affection that they probably need more than anyone.

There's just so much sadness in the world.


  1. What a heartbreaking thing, that poor, poor boy.

  1. Vidya Sury said...:

    I couldn't help crying when I read your post, Kaylen. I can only imagine how it feels to experience it. What made me burst into tears was reading "Can I give you a hug". Which means you've got to be so careful to show the affection these children need so much. Human beings thrive on affection and imagine it being rationed for foster children.

    Makes me wish I could just work some magic and cover all these children in a blanket of love.

    Hugs. I appreciate you sharing this.

  1. Meg said...:

    Thank you so much for your kind words on Fin's passing. :-)



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