Every Human Is A Potential Friend

I read this book recently called MSF Seeking BFF - all about a married woman who moved with her husband to Chicago and found that she was missing her BFF's in her home town.  Females don't make best friends easily as adults, it sometimes just *happens*, but if it doesn't...it doesn't. And what the author found was-you have to make  LOT of effort to make new friends.

I haven't really got a female BFF, but I have a fair amount of friends who are wonderful, for wonderful reasons.

But is that enough? The author does a great job of discussing different theories on friendship and bringing in results of studies done on friendship and talking with "experts" - it was a really easy, good read. Highly recommend it!!

I recently went to California for another work training and took this book with me. I nearly finished it on the trip, and it really did inspire me to talk to more people than I normally would. Sometimes I go to a class or training and I might smile at someone, or maybe laugh at their joke in class, or maybe have a short conversation while we're on break, but I don't always go out of my way to really talk. So this trip I decided to practice just being friendly for friendliness-sake.

This comes REALLY easy to some people. I know a few people who will talk to anyone at any time about any thing. And they don't feel awkward or strange or anything, and I don't think that the people they talk to are thinking that either. I'm not really one of those people. I have to put effort in. And I would say a lot of time-I don't make the effort. Which means I've lost out on a TON of chances to make a friend!!!

So back to my training - I did it - I practiced being more outgoing with strangers and it worked out well. One of the ladies I made effort with was not really my type. I gave it a long, hard try multiple times (in case she was having a bad day or something) and we just weren't a good match. I'm sure she had no issues with me, since she did all the talking and never once asked me a question or showed interest in me, but I was left knowing a lot of her life history. No give and take type friendships-no thanks!

I had a long chat with a man from Belgium who was in my class. I asked him quite a number of questions about his work and then it moved easily into discussions about his life in Belgium, and then flowed right into conversations about his family -with him asking me questions about each of mine as well. We just had a nice conversation. I wouldn't say we are going to be lifelong friends but he had interesting stories and I'm glad I had the chance to hear them. I think he would probably say the same about me-I had interesting things to share also.

I hung out with a couple of ladies one afternoon and had some good conversations, everything flowed well and I was glad to have them to hang out with. The four of us (the ladies and Mr. Belgium) planned a road trip into San Francisco 40 minutes before class ended. Spontaneous and adventuresome!!!  We saw some seals, played tourists, ate at the pier and shared an enjoyable evening. I'll probably never see them again - but it was a fun time and I'm glad I made that effort.

I'm preparing to head off to South Africa for work soon and I am looking forward to talking with more people and learning some interesting stories. Life is a big story - we are all just writing it one page/day at a time and I really am enjoying hearing others tales...and hopefully some new friends will be in my life with this new "talk to anyone" look on life.


  1. You never know who you'll meet, so I agree, talk to people!

  1. Courtney said...:

    Just don't forget that people (old friends) love you too and think of you often! :)

  1. carma said...:

    some times I have to pysch myself up for this type of thing too. It can be work - Loved what you said about the lady who went on and on about herself but asked not one question about you. I am very tuned into this type of thing too and it is a huge turnoff...


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